You have to be Italian when...........

1. You're 5'4", can benchpress 325 pounds, shave twice a day, and you still cry when your mother yells at you.
2. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit 2 mortadella"sangwiches", 4 oranges 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular paper lunchbag.
3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Black Mercury.
4. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.
5. You consider dunking a pack of Stella D'Oro "S" cookies in milk as a nutritious breakfast.
6. You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still have 2 kitchens (one in the basement).
7. Your 2 best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law's brother-in-law.
8. You are a card-carrying VIP at more than after hours clubs.
9. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.
10. A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.
11. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
12. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
13. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his mother had an affair.
14. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.
15. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
16. You REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when: You eat Sunday dinner at2:00.
17. You know what a riceball really is.
18. Christmas Eve.....only fish....
19. Have a gold chain, cross and your horn...
20. You have a stupid nickname. "fuhggetaboutit"
21 Your Mom's meatballs are the best.
22. Favorite movies:Godfather/Goodfellas/BronxTale/The Last Don/Moonstruck
23, You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you
24. Plastic on the furniture is normal.
25. Know how to pronounce "manicotti".
26. You've called someone a "mamaluke".
27. You own a Pinky Ring.
28. And you understand, "Bada Bing, Bada Boom"