JOKES
Okay, I'll admit it, I'm a lazy Blogger. So, to amuse myself and most of you, I found some good jokes. Enjoy....
One day little Suzy came home crying from the doctor's office. Her mother asked what had happened. "I had to take a blood test," Suzy said. "Oh, did the needle hurt your finger?" her mother asked. "It's not that, I flunked the test." "How could you flunk a blood test?" her mother asked. "Well, Rosie got an A+, Mary got a B-, and I got a O!"
What does DNA stand for?
The National Dsylexia Association.
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him what?
A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis
A man walks into a pub one day and orders 3 pints of Guinness Stout from the barkeep. Since the man is new to the area, the barkeep doesn't know him and assumes that the man is ordering for friends who are yet to arive. Well, the man finds a table at the back of the pub and sits down alone to enjoy his beer. He takes a sip from the first and a sip from the second and a sip from the third, repeating this until all three pints are empty. When he returns to the bar to order three more the barkeep asks him why he ordered three pints at one time if he's drinking alone. The man explains that he and his two brothers have sworn a solem oath of tradition that whenever they are far away from each other and having a drink that they must also have a drink for the brothers whom they miss dearly. The barkeep agrees that it's a fine tradition. So the man becomes a regular and all the other regulars come to know him and of his oath with his brothers. Until one day the man walks into the pub, orders two pints of Guinness and takes his usual table at the back. The pub grows silent as all the people realize what this must mean. After the man finishes his two pints he returns to the bar to order two more. The barkeep says to him that the next two are on the house and that he's sorry to here about the loss of his brother. The man is confused for a minute and then replies, "No one has died, I gave up drinking for lent."
An Irish priest and a nun were driving through Transylvania one dark night. Suddenly a shape reared up in front of the car, and the priest jammed on the brakes. The figure spread its cape and said, "I vant to drink your blood!" "It's a vampire!" the priest yelled. "Quick, Sister, lean out the window and show him your cross!" And the nun leaned out and bellowed, "Get out of the road, ye worthless heathen idiot!"
One day little Suzy came home crying from the doctor's office. Her mother asked what had happened. "I had to take a blood test," Suzy said. "Oh, did the needle hurt your finger?" her mother asked. "It's not that, I flunked the test." "How could you flunk a blood test?" her mother asked. "Well, Rosie got an A+, Mary got a B-, and I got a O!"
What does DNA stand for?
The National Dsylexia Association.
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him what?
A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis
A man walks into a pub one day and orders 3 pints of Guinness Stout from the barkeep. Since the man is new to the area, the barkeep doesn't know him and assumes that the man is ordering for friends who are yet to arive. Well, the man finds a table at the back of the pub and sits down alone to enjoy his beer. He takes a sip from the first and a sip from the second and a sip from the third, repeating this until all three pints are empty. When he returns to the bar to order three more the barkeep asks him why he ordered three pints at one time if he's drinking alone. The man explains that he and his two brothers have sworn a solem oath of tradition that whenever they are far away from each other and having a drink that they must also have a drink for the brothers whom they miss dearly. The barkeep agrees that it's a fine tradition. So the man becomes a regular and all the other regulars come to know him and of his oath with his brothers. Until one day the man walks into the pub, orders two pints of Guinness and takes his usual table at the back. The pub grows silent as all the people realize what this must mean. After the man finishes his two pints he returns to the bar to order two more. The barkeep says to him that the next two are on the house and that he's sorry to here about the loss of his brother. The man is confused for a minute and then replies, "No one has died, I gave up drinking for lent."
An Irish priest and a nun were driving through Transylvania one dark night. Suddenly a shape reared up in front of the car, and the priest jammed on the brakes. The figure spread its cape and said, "I vant to drink your blood!" "It's a vampire!" the priest yelled. "Quick, Sister, lean out the window and show him your cross!" And the nun leaned out and bellowed, "Get out of the road, ye worthless heathen idiot!"
2 Comments:
har har...I like the Ghandi one. Did I ever tell you my favorite blonde joke? (forgive me if I already have)
What do a blonde and a cow patty have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
By
JLee, At
December 05, 2005 6:02 PM
lol Phil, i liked that last one. i have a lame one to share:
an old lady is knitting & driving recklessly @ the same time. a policeman tries to stop her, yells,'pullover!' she yells back,'socks!'
By
boo, At
December 06, 2005 6:38 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home