08.31.05 are you one of them?

We were talking - about the space between us all
And the people - who hide themselves behind a
wall of illusion
Never glimpse the truth - then it's far too late -
when they pass away.

We were talking - about the love we all could
share - when we find it
To try our best to hold it there - with our love
With our love - we could save the world - if
they only knew.

Try to realise it's all within yourself no-one else
can make you change
And to see you're really only very small,
and life flows on within you and without you.

We were talking - about the love that's gone so
cold and the people,
Who gain the world and lose their soul -
they don't know - they can't see - are you one
of them?

When you've seen beyond yourself - then you
may find, peace of mind is waiting there -
And the time will come when you see
we're all one, and life flows on within you and
without you.

I am a Big Beatles fan. They, along with Bob Dylan changed American music - like it or not. They were unique and inovative. No one even comes close to them now, and many of today's groups would most likely not even be here if not for them. John has always been my Fav of the Fab Four, but lately I've really been digging George's music more and more. He was my second Fav followed by those other guys. I liked this picture of him and the song 'Within You or Without You' so I posted it today.

08.30.05 'F*CKING' villagers vote against name change

Residents of an Austrian village called F*cking, have voted against changing the name. The 150 or so people who live in the village debated the issue after roadsigns kept being stolen - many by British tourists. Spokesman Siegfried Hoeppl, said, "Everyone here knows what it means in English, but for us F*cking is F*cking - and it's going to stay F*cking - even though the signs keep getting stolen." He said the name came from Mr F*ck and his family who settled in the area 100 years ago, and added "ing", meaning village or settlement. The villagers didn't find out about the English meaning of the word until Allied soldiers stationed in the region in 1945 pointed out the alternative meaning. Local newspaper editor Menhardt Buzasa said there had been an increase in the number of signs being stolen, and said British tourists were usually blamed. "I do not agree it is just the British. F*cking is universal. Germans use it as much now as the British, and it also means the same to the Americans, Australians and anyone in the English speaking world," he said. Similar votes on a name change have taken place recently in neighbouring Austrian towns Wank am see and Petting, as well as in Vomitville and Windpassing.

08.28.05 Local News

I thought this was funny
























I wonder if they want him to repaint the railing?

08.25.05 Sally Field Flies Again!

Belgian sister Johanne Vertomme (L) 29, from Loppem, Belgium is seen dancing with Mark (no surname given), a missionary, during the Catholic World Youth Day, in Cologne Germany, August 20, 2005. The Belgian nun's acrobatic and indecorous dancing with the missionary during the Catholic World Youth Day in Germany over the weekend earned her a reprimand from her mother superior, a Belgian paper said August 22, 2005. 'I wouldn't do this at home but at such occasions I get carried away by the enthusiasm of the group,' the 29-year-old told the paper later. 'My mother superior raised the issue today: she thinks I should watch out a bit and bear in mind that I represent our community,' Vertommen said. Pope Benedict attended the celebration at the Marienfeld, outside Cologne, in the presence of some 700,000 people.

08.24.05 The Amish

I was doing a real boring task today at work. I had to print out chapters from a book, collate them together using a bookmap that did not at all reflect the actual page numbers of what I was working on. A co-worker saw what I was doing and commented 'The Amish are more technoligically advanced than we are sometimes'. That really cracked me up and made my day. It's so true some days...

08.23.05 Public Service Announcement - SPAM

SPAM - we all get, some worse than others. I saw on someone's post a solution to make it harder to be spammed. Check out this Link. It has to do with 'Word Verification' . I'm not sure if I will do this, spam hasn't been too much of a problem for me and it creates extra work to resond to a post.
What is the word verification option?
The "word verification" option can be found on the Settings Comments tab for your blog, and it looks like this:



If you chose "yes" for this setting, then people leaving comments on your blog will be required to complete a word verification step, similar to the one presented when you create a blog:



What this does is to prevent automated systems from adding comments to your blog, since it takes a human being to read the word and pass this step. If you've ever received a comment that looked like an advertisement or a random link to an unrelated site, then you've encountered comment spam. A lot of this is done automatically by software which can't pass the word verification, so enabling this option is a good way to prevent many such unwanted comments.

08.22.05 Little Billy Jokes

I'm too lazy to write on this blog today so here are some 'Little Billy' jokes... Leave a joke if you'd like

LITTLE BILLY ON ...GETTING OLDER
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." "Oh?" replied the man. "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!"

LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little BILLY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU.There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:One is delicately licking the sides of the triplescoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your way of thinking."

LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:
Little BILLY returns home from school and says he gotan F in arithmetic."Why?" asks the father." "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY. "But that's right!" says his dad."Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking difference? " asks the father. "That's what I said!"

LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:
Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says,"Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words,class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful." Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blow-job."

LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with,"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael."My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"

08.21.05 How To Know Whether Or Not You Are Ready To Have Children

THE MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

THE TOY TEST Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

THE GROCERY STORE TEST Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

THE DRESSING TEST Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

THE FEEDING TEST Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

THE NIGHT TEST Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 pm begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00am. Set the alarm for 5:00 am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years and look cheerful.

THE INGENUITY TEST Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

THE AUTOMOBILE TEST Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There......perfect.

THE PHYSICAL TEST (Women) Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 1/2 of the beans. Leave it on for the rest of your life.

THE PHYSICAL TEST (Men) Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

THE FINAL ASSIGNMENT Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

08.20.05 Driving (me crazy)

This post is not an attack on anyone's race, gender or social background. It is just my observation of my life's situation. I will also add that I love my wife very much. She's a great friend, lover, companion, mother to our kids, she's a talented musicain, she puts up with me, not the best cook - see earlier post (OK, the disclaimer is out of the way). Her driving makes me nuts. I think it's safe to say that most of us feel we are better drivers than we actually are. You can also tell a lot about one's driving ability by how many tickets or accidents that they have had. My wife does not have too many speeding tickets (they can't seem to catch her), but during a 5 week span last fall, she managed to have 4 accidents, 1 speeding ticket, and knocked the rear window out of my Volvo 240 DL station wagon. The first occured when she was coming into the city to pick me up from the hospital. I can understand this one because I had been in the hospital for 16 days os she was a little stressed to day the least. She was driving down a side street looking for the hospital parking and she took off the passenger side mirror and scraped the entire side of the van. Ok, then 2 weeks later she was going to work on a Saturday morning. It was cold out and it rained the night before. I get a phone call. There was ice on the road and her, not being one of those cautious drivers, figured ice-schmice, I can still drive 70 mph so she hit the ice and did a few bounces off the median and the side retaining wall. Luckily, she was not hurt and no other cars were involved. Our van had two rear windows blown out and as it turned out, both axles bent. Cost to repair, over $5000. It is an 98 Villager and we don't have collision on it. Alrighty, that was 9 am. I drove down, with the 2 boys and my rather fresh staples in my gut while I was calling an autobody shop and a car rental place.We were able to drive it to the autobody shop, but she still wanted to get to work and there was something she had to do afterwards, so we went to Enterprise to rent a car for her. After about an hour or so, we got her a car. She went off to work, and I went home to take more percocet and valium. I get a call about 7 pm that night. She was in a gas station getting gas, and she opened the door without really checking and some guy was driving where he really should not have been and wham! The side of the door is dented and his mirror is history. She managed to drive home without another incident. So a week goes by, we still have the rental, she is out at a rehearsal, the phone rings. Yes, another accident. She was pulling into an empty (yes empty) parking lot and pulled up to park underneath the light and hits the bottom of the light post. I think it was between the last two accidents, she got a speeding ticket for going 68 in a 45 zone. I was so afraid to answer the phone, I never knew what it was going to be next. We returned the rental, our van was still in the shop and she started using our 89 Volvo wagon. She was getting something out of the back, and slammed the tailgate down and the rear window shattered and imploded.
Needless to say, we are banned from Enterprise car rental...

08.19.05 Loose Specs

specifications: A detailed, exact statement of particulars, especially a statement prescribing materials, dimensions, and quality of work for something to be built, installed, or manufactured.
Sounds pretty clear, doesn't it? I work in publishing, textbook publishing to be exact. This industry is so particular as to having set specs it can make your head spin, which it oftens does. There are discussions as to what font size and leading (the space between the lines) we must use because certain grades can't seem to understand text if the font is too big or too small or if the lines are too close together. My job here is to help with the process of putting the editors words, and the designers design together in one big happy textbook. I'm not really a layout person (unless needed) but more of a let's see what technology we can use to do this kind of guy. It's a position I love, I work with just a few really great people, we are like the special forces, it's cool. The only thing with developing templates for creating books is that we need to have the specs from the designers before we can create a template to reflect their design. The way it is supposed to work is that they book is designed with every possible type of layout already thought out and documented and specs created. Then the specs are signed off and we are set to go and develop templates, etc. Well, I have never seem this happen in the 4 years I've been here. We can be near the end of the creation of the book, and they are still creating specs. It's rather amazing. After each book, there are meetings where this issue comes up and it is determined that it will never happen again and sure as the sun rises, here we go again. But I heard a new one the other day as far as specs go. I was working on a customized book for the state of Illinois. When I handed off my work to my manager, it was basically right except I was told the positioning of certain elements was not correct. I asked if there were specs for this. I was told there were 'loose specs'. I had to laugh, what the hell is a loose spec? It's either positioned exactly here, or it's not. I guess that falls under the category of politicians lying. Well, I didn't lie, I mis-spoke. Time to get to work, loosely speaking of course...

08.16.05 Some Music...

I was messing around on my guitar last night and threw together 2 songs very quickly. These were recorded on the first try after little practice, so they are what they are.

• In The Summertime
• Imagine

Hope you enjoy them....
YIKES, I just listened to them, they need work...

08.14.05 Days Gone By

Okay, I wasn't sure what I was going to post today. My first idea was to talk about this great little japanese maple tree that I planted 2 years ago that has survived 2 winters and is now about a foot tall. Last night, the deer ate all of the leaves off it! I was pissed. But, while looking for pictures that I had of it, I came across these old pictures I had of a bike trip I had taken back around 1980 with my buddy Henry.
This top picture is of us on top of Mount Mansfield in Vermont (the highest peak in VT). We snuck our Ross mountain bikes past the gate at the bottom, then rode up to the top. Once we got there, a ranger came over and yelled at us, so we took off down the mountain, riding the ski trails. The second picture was taken on top of Mount Washington, NH, the highest peak in the northeast (6233 ft) and the place on earth where the highest wind speed was ever recorded. You used to be able to bike up it anytime, now I think they only open it a few times a year. The last picture is one of me taken of me in the Adirondacks (somewhere). I took a couple of great vacations with Henry. We rode from northern NJ to Lake Placid NY one year and to Ithaca NY another year. He lives out in Oregon and I don't see him too often, but we still keep in touch. I miss Hank, he's was a great traveling buddy!

08.12.05 Finally!

Well, It has finally happened. We were able to get the little guy in the pool. He would go into my brother-in-laws pool, probably because it's in ground and he can walk in at his own pace. Our pool is above ground, yet he can stand and the water is almost up to his chin. I'm sure it's an issue of being in control. But anyway, he started this week by lowering himself down the ladder. then he realized he could touch the bottom. Step one. Then he started to ride the noodle (one of those foam noodles that float) like a horse but he would not venture far from the ladder. Step two. Then he started to ride the side of the pool on the noodle. Step four. The next thing you know, he was walking around sans noodle (for obvious reasons, I left out the parts with myself and my wife coaxing him on, but he did it last night) Today, his friend Jason is coming over to go swimming.

08.11.05 Punchlines & Meteors

These are taken from the current issue of Time magazine:

• "A lightsaber used in the original Star Wars was bought for $200,000 at a recent auction. The buyer wishes to remain anonymous and a virgin." --CONAN O'BRIEN
  
• "President Bush had his physical a couple days ago, and doctors say that President Bush is likely our most fit President in the history of the United States. That means if anything happens to Cheney, he can jump in and take over." --DAVID LETTERMAN
  
• "Some sad news--King Fahd of Saudi Arabia has died. In respect, the Saudi royal family lowered their flag and raised their oil prices." --JAY LENO

This just in...
Perseid Meteor Shower tomorrow morning

08.10.05 - Not much Happening Here

Well, there is not a whole lot that I am going to post here, I think I will go to my other blog seeing that I'm in the city today. I would like to bring my camera in next time and document my journey. That could be interesting.
-phil

08.06.05 - 5 1/2 years gone to pot

Ok, it happened. My wife went into the city for the night and I did something that I have not done for over 5 years. Before you start to think what I think you may think, I am still master of my domain. I smoked some pot. Well, the cat is out of the bag. And you know what, aside from it making me paranoid, I enjoyed it. My brother came out from the city and my wife went in to the city, sort of duel sleepovers. My brother 'scored some grass man' (I think that's what they say now a days) and we scored a couple of thick sirlion steaks and scored some salads too. I must say that overall, it was fun. We played guitars for hours and feasted on some seriously delicious steaks. Now I do not promote doing drugs, they are bad for you and cause a lot of damage, but since I can't have a beer (medical reasons), I figured what the f*ck. As some habits die hard, I did not get to the liberry (that's for you KHM) so I did not get my book for my homework assignment. I have a feeling mr. schprock is going to give me either detention or extra homework.

PS-My wife knows I did this, now I have to make dinner everynight for two weeks as punishment!

08.05.05 'What I Believe' by steve martin

What I Believe.

• "I believe in rainbows and puppy dogs and fairy tales.
• And I believe in the family - Mom and Dad and Grandma.. and Uncle Tom, who waves his penis.
• And I believe 8 of the 10 Commandments.
• And I believe in going to church every Sunday, unless there's a game on.
• And I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, wholesome and natural things.. that money can buy.
• And I believe it's derogatory to refer to a woman's breasts as "boobs", "jugs", "winnebagos" or "golden bozos".. and that you should only refer to them as "hooters".
• And I believe you should put a woman on a pedestal.. high enough so you can look up her dress.
• And I believe in equality, equality for everyone.. no matter how stupid they are, or how much better I am than they are.
• And, people say I'm crazy for believing this, but I believe that robots are stealing my luggage.
• And I believe I made a mistake when I bought a 30-story 1-bedroom apartment.
• And I believe the Battle of the Network Stars should be fought with guns.
• And I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was - an arctic region covered with ice.
• And, lastly, I believe that of all the evils on this earth, there is nothing worse than the music you're listening to right now.

That's what I believe.

Question of the Day

Has anyone ever done this to someone, or had it happen to them?

• Someone will repeatedly post comments on your site, nothing rude or inappropriate, and you ignore them?
• You post comments on someone's Blog, again, nothing rude or inappropriate, and they ignore you? Usually you have Bloggers in common.

How does it make you feel? Just curious.

08.04.05 RAK Revisited

Well yesterday was my weekly RAK experiment in the city. I have noticed that the usual 'subjects' of my RAK (Random Acts of Kindness) have been attractive women of any age - beauty is timeless, hippie hikers, and homeless men (okaaayy?) I thought that I would try something different for a change. I was getting on the #57 bus to get ready to head home to my car, and I spotted a rather not particularly attractive, young, slightly overweight woman behind me. I asked her if she would mind if I paid her bus fare. She looked at me like I was Joel Rifkin and managed to squeak out a 'why?' I tried to explain that I try to do something nice for someone I don't know when I can. She thought I was a friggin psychopath! I paid for her anyway, then made my way to the back of the bus, passing some empty seats and stood there. She grabbed the nearest seat she could, and not once glanced my way. I'm sure she thought she was going to be killed by me. I kind of chuckled at how my RAK was interpreted by her. My conclusion, I'll stick with the 3 options above.

Man's Best Friend

Soup's on!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050803/ap_on_sc/dog_clone

08.03.05 I Married Lisa Douglas

I'd say this is our house, but the roof looks too good. I live in a small town in NY state. It's not quite Hooterville, but it's not that far removed from it. But that, is not where the similarity ends. I happened to have married Lisa Douglas.














Let me explain a little further...She's a smart, attractive, talented, a good Mom, good wife, good friend, but she can not cook to save her (or our) life! I got home from work yesterday, and noticed that our 2 qt saucepan was all burned on the inside. Many people (or husbands) might suspect that she was trying to prepare some difficult culinary delight for her 'hard workin' man. When I asked what happened, she said 'I was boiling an egg'. I was speechless. I mean, how hard is it to boil an egg. You first, fill the saucepan with water, then you place an egg in it. You bring it to a boil, turn the heat down (or off) and set a timer and let it sit for 15-20 minutes. That's pretty much it. But, her style if to put water in, maybe enough, maybe not. Turn the heat up FULL BLAST, walk away, wait for her timer (the smoke alarm) to go off, then get a screwdriver or my $40 Henkle paring knife to scrape off the carbonized food matter, Brillo the shit out of the pan to try to hide the evidence. Fumigate the room, then have some cereal. The times she tries to cook, she refuses to follow a recipe. She thinks her expertise will carry her through. I am probably one of the few men, who when I went in to the hospital, the whole family lost weight! We use her meatloaf as a threat to our boys to get them to do their chores. I cook because I like it, it's relaxing, it's almost like making love. You nurture the food and bring out it's flavor for an sensual experience.
I could use a night or two off. It would be nice.
I think I need a 'FUCK HOUSEWORK' apron or something.
-signed, starving in NY

08.02.05 He's B - A - C - K

Just when you thought it was safe to
wear pink shorts and an orange shirt!
The Fashion Shark attacks!

08.01.05 What a Sneaky Move

Bush Appoints Bolton As U.N. Ambassador
I don't want this to be a political Blog. So why did I post this you may ask? I think it's a sneaky political move. It's like waiting for the teacher to be out of the room, then throwing an eraser at someone. Politics is a dangerous subject because people have such strong emotions about it (along with religion and money). This will be my only political statement (and it goes for BOTH parties)